Today, I was on a 3 hour plane ride. An elderly man was sitting next to me and before the flight took off, he fell asleep on my shoulder. I decided to be kind and let him sleep. When the flight was about to land, I tried to wake him up. He wouldn’t. He died on my shoulder. FML
I got bored and watched it. I forgot how hilarious it was. It’s not like a roll on the floor kinda funny but its just like well made chick flick. I forgot how enjoyable the movie was. I also forgot how good Lindsey Lohan looked. She was hot in that movie. I like Rachel McAdams when she’s not a bitch but she was good in the movie. This post has no meaning. I just wanted to say Mean Girls was funny
So I finally got to talk to Joanne about how I felt about her and Vincent talking again. So I chose to walk away from her because I can’t handle her seeing her hurt. It’s selfish of me because I’m shielding myself from getting hurt whenever she endures any type of pain from her stupid ass boyfriend. Everytime she gets hurt by her bf it hurts me ten times more than people think. I’m the ex that cares about her. As her ex I have expectations and know how Joanne should be treated in a relationship. When I don’t see that happening it really hurts me. Because the whole point of someone finding new love should be to find someone better or makes the person happier. If niether of those are happen then what was the fucking point of leaving me in the first place? I’ll never fully understand this “heart wants what the heart wants” bullcrap. I just wish I was a bit strong and more mature about this. Sadly I am not and this is how it is. So, like I said…bye Joanne…for now.
Can’t sleep tonight. No real reason that’s holding me back from sleeping just simply not tired. To help me try and sleep I watched a movie. It’s called “Secret.” It’s written and directed by Jay Chou AND he’s the star of the movie. It’s a cute story about well simply boy meets girl and they fall in love yatta yatta yatta. This is just an excuse for me to talk about my favorite subject in the world…love. Whether it be missing it, wanting it, having it, getting it, or etc…I just like to talk about love, no one just really would want to hear me ramble =\
It just really gets to me in movies whenever there’s a scene where the girl misses the guy so much and just cries because the circumstances prevent them from being close to eachother. It touches me because it just shows how much you miss them and love them. I remember when my ex would use to sometimes call me in the middle of night just crying and letting me know how much she misses me and wishes I was there to hold her. I don’t like making girls cry but it’s very touching to know that someone feels that strongly about you and wants to see you. I felt the same way too. Its so weird to say that I miss being that weak. Because when you’re in love you just bear out all your strengths and weaknesses to the person. So it always great knowing that even when you’re at your weakest they still want to be with you and make you strong again.
There are times where I actually wish I could cry because I don’t remember how to anymore. There are also times where I do want people to know that I am feeling miserable today but I had to put a façade that I’m ok. If I put up a status admitting to the world that I’m not feeling good all I’m gonna get from everyone is “MAN UP,” “STOP BEING A PUSSY,” “it’s not good to let everyone know you’re sad,” or something general like that. Really all I would want is someone to give me a hug and literally lend me their shoulder to cry on. That would really take away all the pain for me. Now that I can’t cry anymore, I just talk or write more. Don’t worry, I don’t need a good cry at the moment hahaha but if the moment comes up I sure hope I can to get it all out
As usual this is getting long, I’ll elaborate it on it more sometime later. The sun is coming up and I haven’t slept. I can’t post this right now since I don’t get Wi-Fi in my room so I’ll do it when I wake up.
so last night didn’t end up being a party but thats absolutely ok. i had a great time just talking and mingling with everyone. it was good clean fun aside from the drinking lol. i just remember threating my cousins boyfriend, that was funny but true. i actually am protective of my little cousins, but it’s just not a very well known fact about me. anyways, i’m really glad how things turned out though it was a nice excuse to all get together in one place and just talk about anything and everything. we need more nights like this to just talk and drink amongst close friends.